Gary Lincoff, 2013
When your back is giving out
And your toe’s inflamed with gout
And you haven’t slept a wink since who knows when…..
When meat has lost it flavor
And sex has lost its savor
And you’ve tried everything from A to Zen.
When summer’s like December
And you no longer remember
What it was you used to like on your plate
It’s time to take some action
To get yourself some traction
And be the one in charge of your own fate.
To all questions there’s but one answer
From love complaints to cancer
One solution to ward off certain doom
It’s not animal or vegetable
Not mineral, myth, or fable,
Just the little kingdom of the ‘shroom
Yes, the shroom’s the solution
From deadly sin to absolution
For everything you’ve ever wanted done.
For diet, a no-brainer,
For gluttony, a trainer -
A way to have it all while having fun.
I’ve got ‘shrooms to keep you healthy
And some to make you wealthy
And some in a beauty cream for your face.
I’ve got mushrooms for your dreaming
And some to get you beaming
Out to distant galaxies in space
I’ve got truffles for the ladies -
Guaranteed to drive you crazy,
And Cordyceps for you guys
For both stamina and size…
I’ve got Bear’s Heads and Turkey-tails
For a treatment that never fails,
I’ve got chaga for arthritis
And Reishi for phlobitis
Something to cure each and every condition.
I’ve got wood-ears for blood flow
For curbing strokes, don’t you know?,
Shrooms for cluster headaches,
And depending on how much you take
A catalyst for your every ambition
Come one, come all,
Please don’t disregard this call –
Name your poison or your passion
These ‘shrooms are never out of fashion –
If they’ll cure what ails the earth -
Get ‘em now for all they’re worth.
Now’s the time to live forever
In the present tense, and never
Never follow any sacred cow…..
Be here in body and in spirit,
Be the life as you would live it,
Begin anew, begin again – and be here - NOW!
Here are our Top 10 Reasons to Attend the Telluride Mushroom Festival----Feel free to comment with your favorite reasons---let's get the list to 100!
10. For a small town it has a great food scene from the high end and gourmet La Marmotte to getting Baked in Telluride every morning.
9. You get to make new friends and see old ones and bond around fungi.
8. You don't get any strange looks carrying around a basket of mushrooms. The only size competition is around your boletes.
7. The biggest arguments are around taxonomy and common names; not politics and religion.
6. You can surround yourself with hundreds of mushroom books and meet the authors at Between the Covers. booth.
5. Shouting "We Love Mushrooms" at random times is expected and is a battle cry.
4. You get to hug Art Goodtimes and hear his infectious laugh.
3. You walk down the street, there's a mountain. You turn to the right, there's a mountain. You close your eyes, there's a mountain.
2. Mushrooms are turned into icecream and beer at the highly competitive Culinary Cookoff
1. Gary Lincoff's keynote will confirm your stance that mushrooms can make the world a better place.
Telluride Mushroom Festival Blog
Various members of the Telluride Mushroom Festival community contribute to this blog.