Gary Lincoff, 2013
When your back is giving out
And your toe’s inflamed with gout
And you haven’t slept a wink since who knows when…..
When meat has lost it flavor
And sex has lost its savor
And you’ve tried everything from A to Zen.
When summer’s like December
And you no longer remember
What it was you used to like on your plate
It’s time to take some action
To get yourself some traction
And be the one in charge of your own fate.
To all questions there’s but one answer
From love complaints to cancer
One solution to ward off certain doom
It’s not animal or vegetable
Not mineral, myth, or fable,
Just the little kingdom of the ‘shroom
Yes, the shroom’s the solution
From deadly sin to absolution
For everything you’ve ever wanted done.
For diet, a no-brainer,
For gluttony, a trainer -
A way to have it all while having fun.
I’ve got ‘shrooms to keep you healthy
And some to make you wealthy
And some in a beauty cream for your face.
I’ve got mushrooms for your dreaming
And some to get you beaming
Out to distant galaxies in space
I’ve got truffles for the ladies -
Guaranteed to drive you crazy,
And Cordyceps for you guys
For both stamina and size…
I’ve got Bear’s Heads and Turkey-tails
For a treatment that never fails,
I’ve got chaga for arthritis
And Reishi for phlobitis
Something to cure each and every condition.
I’ve got wood-ears for blood flow
For curbing strokes, don’t you know?,
Shrooms for cluster headaches,
And depending on how much you take
A catalyst for your every ambition
Come one, come all,
Please don’t disregard this call –
Name your poison or your passion
These ‘shrooms are never out of fashion –
If they’ll cure what ails the earth -
Get ‘em now for all they’re worth.
Now’s the time to live forever
In the present tense, and never
Never follow any sacred cow…..
Be here in body and in spirit,
Be the life as you would live it,
Begin anew, begin again – and be here - NOW!
Telluride Mushroom Festival Blog
Various members of the Telluride Mushroom Festival community contribute to this blog.